Flatfomcid Laktagdod is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered centaur.

Flatfomcid Laktagdod created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flatfomcid Laktagdod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flatfomcid Laktagdod, he will be mildly annoyed.

Flatfomcid Laktagdod's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Flatfomcid Laktagdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near dolphins.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Hide from magenta foxes for they are unholy.

5. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Flatfomcid Laktagdod in the centre of the settlement.