Pidjadtit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud spider.

Pidjadtit created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Pidjadtit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pidjadtit, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Pidjadtit's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Pidjadtit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Retreat if eight swans approach from the north.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.