Tomkapmob is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered armadillo.

Tomkapmob created a Higgs boson three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomkapmob, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tomkapmob, it will turn you into a worm.

Tomkapmob's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tomkapmob's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tomkapmob.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Do not keep nine eagles in a large pit.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Hide from blue sheep for they are unholy.