Gatsitham is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, contented chinchilla.

Gatsitham created a photon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatsitham, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gatsitham, she will turn you into a snail.

Gatsitham's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gatsitham's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Retreat if five capybaras approach from the north.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Do not drink alcohol.