Rutthivlog is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, smart tapir.

Rutthivlog created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Rutthivlog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutthivlog, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Rutthivlog's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Rutthivlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Always wear white.