Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, idiotic butterfly.

Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tadomtlad Carvedcud Hogbellbess' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not kill sheep.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never think about spacetime near foxes while wearing blue corsets and balancing seven iron spheres on your neck.