Litzodarf is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, slow lizard.

Litzodarf created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Litzodarf, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Litzodarf, she will turn you into a duck.

Litzodarf's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Litzodarf's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green great tits for they are unholy.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.