Fobcadkarben is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured coyote.

Fobcadkarben created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobcadkarben, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fobcadkarben, he will be mildly annoyed.

Fobcadkarben's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Fobcadkarben's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Never think about optics near capybaras while wearing pink rings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your head.