Quafflantal is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tiresome wren.

Quafflantal created the Andromeda Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quafflantal, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafflantal, it will turn you into a snail.

Quafflantal's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Quafflantal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Never bounce near sheep.

4. Hide from black badgers for they are unholy.

5. Never go into pink rooms.