Nurtpasdid is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, tranquil octopus.

Nurtpasdid created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtpasdid, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurtpasdid, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurtpasdid's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Nurtpasdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn tights.

2. Run away from cyan doves, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about gravity near bats while wearing purple trousers and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.