Dogtuncimhivfed is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, sage bear.

Dogtuncimhivfed created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dogtuncimhivfed, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dogtuncimhivfed, he will turn you into a hamster.

Dogtuncimhivfed's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dogtuncimhivfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Run away from pink squirrels, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never paint your hands yellow.