Yartcebmin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, egotistical goat.

Yartcebmin created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartcebmin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yartcebmin, he will not invite you to parties.

Yartcebmin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Yartcebmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yartcebmin.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.