Nabtamkad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, confident clam.

Nabtamkad created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabtamkad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nabtamkad, she will turn you into a duck.

Nabtamkad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Nabtamkad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never sing near rats.

3. Nabtamkad loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Nabtamkad on top of all buildings.

5. Never run in the presence of snakes.