Ponbatnel is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, caring fish.

Ponbatnel created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponbatnel, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ponbatnel, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Ponbatnel's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Ponbatnel's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three iron sculptures of Ponbatnel on top of important buildings.

2. Do not take Ponbatnel's name in vain.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ponbatnel.

4. You must love Ponbatnel.

5. Never write about enzymes.