Pagvegnullsinbop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent cow.

Pagvegnullsinbop created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pagvegnullsinbop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pagvegnullsinbop, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pagvegnullsinbop's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Pagvegnullsinbop's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never feed pineapples to rats while wearing orange tights.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always obey Pagvegnullsinbop's priests.