Pastikyarlquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, selfish cat.

Pastikyarlquaf created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pastikyarlquaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pastikyarlquaf, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pastikyarlquaf's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pastikyarlquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews in need.

2. Put Pastikyarlquaf first in all things.

3. Hide from orange hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Never think about chromosomes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Pastikyarlquaf.