Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, idiotic crane.

Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip, he will send you a sign.

Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never feed lots of peas to otters while wearing mauve skirts.

3. Hide if three ants approach from the south.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip on top of all buildings.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Farncarbaf Xinbantun Fatkenkip in the centre of the settlement.