Gunfittun is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, proud parrot.

Gunfittun created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunfittun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gunfittun, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gunfittun's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Gunfittun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Erect three gold sculptures of Gunfittun on top of important buildings.

4. Always obey Gunfittun's priests.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.