Fascubwik is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud manatee.

Fascubwik created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fascubwik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fascubwik, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fascubwik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fascubwik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Fascubwik on top of all buildings.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not wear black clothing.

5. Always take life seriously.