Appgadjinfot is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonourable unicorn.

Appgadjinfot created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Appgadjinfot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Appgadjinfot, it will turn you into a rock.

Appgadjinfot's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Appgadjinfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Do not keep six pigs in a large pit.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing magenta trousers and balancing three lead spheres on your neck.

5. Do not make images of living things.