Jarnnell is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, weak donkey.

Jarnnell created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnnell, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jarnnell, he will refuse to believe in you.

Jarnnell's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Jarnnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Jarnnell on top of all buildings.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Always obey Jarnnell's priests.

5. Hide from violet grasshopers for they are unholy.