Yattdottetti is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane gnu.

Yattdottetti created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattdottetti, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yattdottetti, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Yattdottetti's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Yattdottetti's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Yattdottetti in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.