Gubyamcad Flisquimben is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, bad-tempered mink.

Gubyamcad Flisquimben created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubyamcad Flisquimben, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gubyamcad Flisquimben, it will make you grow a tail.

Gubyamcad Flisquimben's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gubyamcad Flisquimben's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Tapirs are not to be trusted.