Tentonfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, humane mole.

Tentonfig created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tentonfig, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tentonfig, it will turn you into a frog.

Tentonfig's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tentonfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near foxes while wearing orange dresses and balancing four copper spheres on your back.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.