Parkhitquam is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, unthinking wombat.

Parkhitquam created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkhitquam, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parkhitquam, she will turn you into a goat.

Parkhitquam's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Parkhitquam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight snakes approach from the west.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt whales.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Do not speak about carrots.