Hasripgen is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, compassionate snake.

Hasripgen created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasripgen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasripgen, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Hasripgen's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Hasripgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed aubergines to squirrels while wearing tights.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed lots of rice to ants while wearing black kilts.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about archaea.