Jonjoncub is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-assured warg.

Jonjoncub created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjoncub, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jonjoncub, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jonjoncub's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Jonjoncub's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always treat doves with great respect.

3. Do not eat figs.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.