Kipcemtapmadarp is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented porpoise.

Kipcemtapmadarp created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipcemtapmadarp, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kipcemtapmadarp, she will manifest in front of you.

Kipcemtapmadarp's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Kipcemtapmadarp's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing purple trousers and balancing five titanium spheres on your legs.

5. Never talk about planets.