Beghabwot Gilfatkem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ill-tempered hedgehog.

Beghabwot Gilfatkem created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beghabwot Gilfatkem, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Beghabwot Gilfatkem, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Beghabwot Gilfatkem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Beghabwot Gilfatkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Beghabwot Gilfatkem.

5. Do not covet oxen.