Yattpastiplid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental gorilla.

Yattpastiplid created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattpastiplid, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattpastiplid, he will turn you into a mole.

Yattpastiplid's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yattpastiplid's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yattpastiplid.

2. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always wear cyan.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.