Mitomindad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust slug.

Mitomindad created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitomindad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mitomindad, he will turn you into a duck.

Mitomindad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Mitomindad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lemons to seals while wearing black trousers.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Never laugh in the presence of sharks.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mitomindad on top of all buildings.