Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, witless grasshopper.

Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess' most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Bamdonyoktaf Piddossbess must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always look after injured otters.