Arfsadtip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, narcissistic crab.

Arfsadtip created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arfsadtip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Arfsadtip, she will not invite you to parties.

Arfsadtip's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Arfsadtip's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Retreat if eight rats approach from the north.

3. Arfsadtip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never paint your head brown.