Wonyakfud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, conceited bear.

Wonyakfud created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Wonyakfud, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonyakfud, she will turn you into a dog.

Wonyakfud's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Wonyakfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about dark matter.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Erect four zinc sculptures of Wonyakfud on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.