Garhivtof is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, annoying faun.

Garhivtof created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garhivtof, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Garhivtof, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Garhivtof's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Garhivtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Garhivtof's name in vain.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about galaxies.