Jopmotnurlkab is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate dove.

Jopmotnurlkab created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jopmotnurlkab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jopmotnurlkab, she will not care.

Jopmotnurlkab's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jopmotnurlkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Always help tortoises in need.