Tommisham is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful walrus.

Tommisham created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Tommisham, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tommisham, it will be very sad.

Tommisham's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tommisham's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight snails approach from the west.

2. Never mention horses.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always help doves.