Gumflabjen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unthinking fox.

Gumflabjen created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumflabjen, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumflabjen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gumflabjen's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gumflabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.