Quill Yogkamhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, egotistical otter.

Quill Yogkamhiv created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quill Yogkamhiv, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quill Yogkamhiv, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Quill Yogkamhiv's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Quill Yogkamhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quill Yogkamhiv.

4. Never feed cherries to ducks while wearing kilts.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quill Yogkamhiv.