Cabjinflat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless jaguar.

Cabjinflat created the Sol system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabjinflat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cabjinflat, he will remove you from existence.

Cabjinflat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cabjinflat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

2. Never feed lentils to whales while wearing skirts.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Cabjinflat in the centre of the settlement.