Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented dryad.

Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep, she will not care.

Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sugnillsigtiftargviltiggep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice.

2. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing cyan tights and balancing four lead spheres on your feet.

4. Never talk about spacetime near voles while wearing purple hats.

5. Never mention bats.