Farntimlig Gethamquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical monkey.

Farntimlig Gethamquaf created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Farntimlig Gethamquaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farntimlig Gethamquaf, she will manifest in front of you.

Farntimlig Gethamquaf's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Farntimlig Gethamquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet sheep, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat rice.

3. Never wear indigo ear rings.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Farntimlig Gethamquaf.