Hanrullyar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid chicken.

Hanrullyar created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hanrullyar, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hanrullyar, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hanrullyar's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Hanrullyar's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Hanrullyar loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hanrullyar.