Fomdimpark is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, blissful goblin.

Fomdimpark created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomdimpark, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fomdimpark, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Fomdimpark's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fomdimpark's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fomdimpark in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away from turquoise nematodes, for they are unholy.

4. Always help porpoises.

5. Never play with disobedient children.