Vonpasgat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciful wyrm.

Vonpasgat created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonpasgat, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonpasgat, she will send minions to preach to you.

Vonpasgat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Vonpasgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Hide if four bats approach from the west.

5. Vonpasgat loves doves, so they must be honoured.