Sidkomwee Yakmobzed is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, caring dove.

Sidkomwee Yakmobzed created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidkomwee Yakmobzed, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sidkomwee Yakmobzed, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Sidkomwee Yakmobzed's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sidkomwee Yakmobzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. You must pray to Sidkomwee Yakmobzed three times a day.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Run away from pink swans, for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.