Babzakfun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonourable bird.

Babzakfun created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Babzakfun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Babzakfun, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Babzakfun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Babzakfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats in need.

2. Run away from magenta swans, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.