Witbapvag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, loving dog.

Witbapvag created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Witbapvag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Witbapvag, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Witbapvag's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Witbapvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must pray to Witbapvag nine times a day.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Witbapvag in the centre of the settlement.