Butcitvil is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful shark.

Butcitvil created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Butcitvil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Butcitvil, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Butcitvil's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Butcitvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

4. Butcitvil must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.