Gomlanquatdin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, contented whale.

Gomlanquatdin created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Gomlanquatdin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gomlanquatdin, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gomlanquatdin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gomlanquatdin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of seals.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Gomlanquatdin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.